Today, I had a hand of how it felt to be sitting for a general paper. Well, if you don’t already know, I’m sitting for my GCE O Levels next year. If you don’t know what that is, just google it up. So basically, to put it in simpler manner, students who take pure sciences subjects are required to go through something called School-based Practical Assessment, commonly known as SPA. There are actually three SPA assessments that students have to go through – two practicals and one written paper. Today, I had my hand on my first SPA assessment for Pure Physics.
It was… tensed. I felt really tensed. When I first went into the laboratory, all I hoped was that my invigilator would give us some time to calm down and sink into the atmosphere first. However, my hopes were to no avail because the moment we stepped in, in less than 5 minutes, he had started the paper. I wish he would just let us have that little time to let us take a deep breathe. So, the paper started, and I was trying to read through the instructions and understand what the question was asking for. It wasn’t easy, because I really have to say that, the question was really, really ambiguous. Luckily enough, I looked around and got a little idea of what I was supposed to do. It wasn’t easy, because of the extremely ambiguous question.
I’m just going to skip the part about what really happened in the laboratory. I don’t see the reason why I should talk about it anyway.
When I stepped out of the lab, all I could think of was just, “it’s over.” However, I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole process. I couldn’t stop worrying about things that I might have done wrongly. I got so worried, that I couldn’t speak for a couple of minutes here and there. And even when I spoke, it was of no energy. It was, extremely civilised. It was scary, because I rarely spoke like that.
Here’s also one thing I couldn’t stop thinking about:
I was shaking throughout the hour.
It wasn’t the kind of cold shaking. It was just small shakes that wouldn’t be clear to anyone unless somebody paid really close attention. It was shakes that I couldn’t control over, until I started writing and drawing lines. I could still remember that my hands were freezing cold. I could still feel that wind from the fans blowing against the back of my neck. As I type about this, I could remember how the atmosphere was. Quiet and intensively tensed.
An hour after this, my Physics teacher talked to us about what he’d observed. As he spoke, I felt my throat get a small lump. It wasn’t good, because it showed that I was upset and almost cried. I didn’t cry, because the emotion in my Physics teacher just wasn’t enough. I couldn’t cry, because I didn’t want to show that I was a weakling, and especially when I had tried my best and made almost no mistake. But I felt so bad on the inside, that I almost cried. Believe me, I’m feeling my body get colder as I continue.
I don’t know what is my point of blogging about this. I really don’t know. I just felt the need to blog it out.
Maybe, I was just trying to blog about how it felt like to sit for the first of the many papers of O Levels. Maybe I was just trying to blog about my emotions. But maybe, I’m trying to say this.
If you’ve taken your SPA and know that you’ve made mistakes, just remember them and make sure that you’ll never ever make these mistakes again. Because,