This is another slightly more personal topic that I’m about to share. It’s a slight tidbit into my life, and… it might involve certain real-life examples that may or may not be you. But in any case, just assume that I’m talking about someone else. Plus, do also remember that I’m just a teenager blogging about my frankly uninteresting life. And, just don’t get fucking offended just yet, think about it first.
obscene [uh b-seen] adjective
offensive to morality or decency; indecent; depraved; obscene language.
abominable; disgusting; repulsive.
I have a confession to make.
A very big confession to make.
I have a really huge bad habit swearing the word ‘fuck’ a lot. Yes, I’ve most certainly exaggerated my first two sentences. It was totally on purpose. I’ll admit, it’s totally anti-climatic and completely cliche.
I know this word doesn’t really appear on my blog much, but, I’m pretty sure there are a lot of substitute words for ‘fuck’ all across my blog. Maybe you’ve noticed the greater number of the word ‘freak’ appearing, in all of its different forms, or just… different words. I’ll admit, it’s a terrible, terrible word to overuse. But it’s extremely difficult not to use the word when it fits into every single part of the sentence.
I’m actually only talking about this because… I realised that, I’ve completely failed to complete my New Year’s Resolution, which was actually to swear less of the word ‘fuck’. Because, as much as it’s the most… used swearword, it has its own unique nature on its own that… no other swearword can replace. I don’t know if that actually made any sense. Not to mention, to people who swear really little, or cannot even stand hearing swearwords, I’m almost certain that you wouldn’t understand, but never mind.
The thing that actually triggered me to write about it this week is actually because… I couldn’t think of anything else that would be interesting enough to write about, since… merely writing about school would be the utmost boredom of all bored level and somehow, it just came into my mind that I’ve recently been using the word ‘fuck’ a whole lot more than the past few months. I mean, yeah, there has never really been a decrease in the use of the word, but… there was a short little while in December where I almost didn’t use it at all.
Somehow though, my brain seems to be programmed to curse this word out every time something unsatisfying happens. Yeah, I guess it would be appropriate to be using ‘unsatisfying’. Oh, and guess what? I’ve also realised that I’ve started to use all sorts of different swearwords these days. I don’t know if that’s a good sign. It probably isn’t. I mean, I’ve taken the liking of saying ‘wanker’ these days, which is totally, completely obscene and really, really inappropriate most of the time. Normally I’d just curse that under my breath, frankly. It’s way too much for our dear society. Either way, the fact remains that I have a swearing issue, and I don’t know what to do with it.
To be honest, I don’t even think that there can be anything to be done! *throws up hand in frustration*
There is, however, a common trend that I’ve noticed since 2012, when I was in my third year in secondary school. I noticed the simple fact that, I curse a very huge significant amount more than usual when I’m in school. Yes. When I am in school. What does that even tell about me. Oh damn. Meh, whatever, think whatever you like. I don’t really care. Plus, I really do curse a lot, even when I’m not in school. It’s just a matter of whether these words came out of my mouth or not. Either way, yes, the fact does remains that I curse a lot while I’m in school.
The very thing that I still remember was that time when I went back to collect my O Levels results. It didn’t even take me more than fifteen minutes before all the swearwords came flying out of my mouth. And I only noticed it because I hadn’t cursed out loud for a couple of weeks then.
But yes. I mean it.
In the past three weeks (now), I realised that I’ve probably been cursing like, I don’t know, three times more. Be it under my breath or out loud.
And honestly, it got me thinking. It really is an issue. But then again, it’s not the only issue I have.
I am a very fierce-looking person. I’ll admit that, because… it really is the fact. And I can be really fierce when I want to or when I need to. But I’m really sure that nobody likes that side of me. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I’m also very, very straightforward. But, ask anyone who’s friends with me, they’ll tell you that I’m funny. I don’t know, I think so. A friend of mine told me that the other day when we were on the bus home.
So yes, allow me to come back and make my point. I think I’ve gone on a really far off tangent. Or maybe even jumped off to a parallel line. (oh my god, did I just make mathematical reference?) Okay I forgot what my original point was…
Right, first of all, I personally think that there’s nothing fucking wrong with using swearwords to express your inner frustrations and anger at one person or a particular group of people. Maybe it’s just simply because I’ve honestly got nothing against swearwords and, I use them myself. But meh, you get my point.
Secondly, I can’t really talk about the reason why I curse a whole lot more when I’m in school, but it’s mostly got to do with human interaction. And we all know how I feel about interacting with humans.
Thirdly, probably the most unexpected, most important point of the evening… don’t judge people by their looks. Just, don’t. I mean, yeah, I know it’s innate in us to judge others, most probably out of jealousy… But frankly, just because a person gives off an aura of a particular type, doesn’t mean that they’re that kind of person. I frankly don’t know if I’m even making my point across.
Small little warning about the use of really sensitive words in the paragraphs that continues. Please do not proceed if you’re just really sensitive.
On a slightly different topic, I just remembered about this really meaningful thing that MrG told us last year. And of course, that’s to live above the line. I don’t really remember the exact details of what he had said, but the important point of this ‘moral’ is that… If you’re living below the line, you’re basically a (loser) where you push all the blame to others, do not step up and take responsibilities of your own actions, do not admit your own fault, etc. Y’know what? Just think about it. Are you that kind of person?
Back then, when he first shared about this, I was this kind of a person. I mean, even now, a few months later, maybe even more than half a year ago, I am still unable to say that I’m no longer living below the line. However, I’ll say that I’ve improved from then. Maybe not by a lot, but, I’m pretty sure I have.
So, you must be wondering… What exactly does it take to live above the line then?
To live about the line means that… you take responsibilities for your own faults, to admit that you’re wrong, and to find solutions, means and ways to correct this fault that you’ve made. In no place above the line where you push blame to anyone else if you’re at fault. I think, that’s really something that we all need to reflect upon ourselves, and also to correct it. It is only by admitting, acknowledging your fault that you’ll learn from it. And it’s not only about learning from it, it’s also about correcting it. Only then will you turn to be a winner instead of a loser.
I know this is probably really difficult to take in, especially with my explanation because I really didn’t do MrG justice, but… I feel like the main points are there…
(bad joke alert)
On this last note, don’t live below the line! Step up and try living above the line! The air’s fresher!
I honestly don’t know how in the world I’ve gone from talking about swearwords to living above the line.