I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish this post before Sunday night actually ends. But just so you know, it is really written on a Sunday night. Just… It turned midnight before I managed to finish this post.
I actually still have lots of things that can be done if I want to. But, I figured, those things can be done once I’m done with this post, just like how those things can be done before I actually start on this post. But I figured, meh, I’ll take a break from watching that hellishly boring Economics video that I’m supposed to watch in order to understand what Money is and how money works. It’s still really abstract to me, actually. I kind of understand the fundamentals of it, but I don’t understand why in the world it works. Because… more than half of the money that we’re using in our daily lives, they have no real value. But, meh. I don’t wanna start talking about it here.
Tonight, I’m taking a break from sharing facts. I’ll write about… I don’t know really, what I’ve been up to today, I guess? Not really either. I think this post will end up being my complaint about how I have too many things to do in too little time. And also, how much time I realised that I’ve actually wasted over these few weeks since the term started.
One thing that I haven’t gotten used to from studying in poly is that, the term moves so damn fast. I mean, I think I’m already… four weeks in?! And um, that would mean there’s only three weeks left until the end of the term and the start of the exams. So, I’m going to put myself in grounded mode. Where all I’m going to do is probably only going to be related to studies. I cannot afford to lose my grades just because I’m being too complacent from last common tests. There are people out there going after my blood because I’m doing so well and heck, I’m not going to shed any. Yup, sorry if I sound too competitive, but my goal from poly is definitely not just to fool around.
That being said, I’ve been slacking too much these days tbh. ‘Been lazing around waaaaay too much. I could blame it on my temporary sickness, but trust me, it’s really my brain telling me to take a break from the extremely tedious days in school. That’s why I’ve got to put my own self grounded, get myself stuck at home and stop lazing around on YouTube, turn the damned laptop off too.
I’m actually starting to get really tired from school. I come back home every single day wanting to just crash in bed and wish for my tutorials to be done with themselves. School is just too fucking mental draining, y’know. It’s so mentally draining that I’m really just so damn tired, so damn sick of it. It’s not that I detest school or anything. It’s just, being stuck in the same routine every fucking day, having problems every single day trying to pay attention to lectures. It’s horrifying, in a sense. In the first term I thought that it would get better eventually, but for god’s sake, no, it’s actually getting worse.
I don’t even know what to do with myself now.
I’m getting so disgruntled with people that I really just want to shut myself away and avoid everyone. I’m just sick and tired of the noise. It’s only a pity that the library is too far away from where my classes are held and I can’t go there to hide on my short lunch breaks.
Of course, as much as being alone is mentally healthy, being with the right friends and company is even better. Sometimes though, even being with the right friends can be some sort of a dilemma. You can’t choose to be with your friends without sacrificing time to work on something academically important. Of course, every once in a while, it’s always okay, but all the time is just… tedious.
I guess, the only word I can use today to describe my life as of now is really just: tedious.
But what we make of life is really all in the mind. Regardless of how tedious life may be, we still have to find things to look forward to, things that we enjoy. Also, we have to find joy in the things that we do. As much as everything can get really tedious, by finding the joy in these things, you’ll understand that… life really isn’t that bad after everything. 🙂
On a completely different side note, I’ve finally chopped off my hair!! Now I’ve got shoulder length hair, but you’ll probably not notice it much unless I find it cool enough to actually let down my hair (which is probably never going to happen). So… yup, happy anticipating for me to let down my hair, if you’re actually interested.
Okay now, that’s all for tonight’s random night post. I’m sorry if it’s actually starting to bore you. But… yeah, these are my current thoughts, and… My dear Toastmasters’ were talking about it on the WhatsApp group, just as I was thinking about it throughout the night as I struggled through completing all the things that I need to complete. Righto, so, yeah. That’s all for this week. Stay tuned for next week’s posts, I guess.