Damn, you must be thinking that I’m being super generous this week, posting so many posts in a week ay? Hahaha, I just feel like as faithful readers, I think you deserve more posts of mine. So, here comes another RSN that I’m a little worried that I wouldn’t be able to finish writing before midnight and the clock strikes midnight. This post… is written while I’m being pretty pissed off. So, yeah. I hope you can relate.
Hello again! I trust that you’ve all had a wonderful weekend?
I spent my weekend very boringly, to be honest. There weren’t any shopping done, there weren’t really anything interesting that happened in the past two days. My Saturday was spent walking around an area where I used to live close by because my mother decided to go for a manicure/pedicure treatment. I mean, yeah, I cannot even begin to mention how bored I was. I actually walked around this neighbourhood mall, in which it didn’t even take me half an hour before I just turned my head and walked away from there. But because there were nowhere else to go other than some other neighbourhood shops, there wasn’t anywhere else to go except to walk back to the nail parlour that my mom was at. Even there, I had to wait for about an hour before she was done with her nails. x.x
Anyway, back to what I’m actually going to write about tonight. I actually started thinking about this while sitting on the car, proceeding home after dinner.
On Friday, a friend texted me after a couple weeks of radio silence, asking if I knew what someone meant when they say a particular statement. At that moment, because I was on a bus and I was bored, I just replied. Later that night, while I was on my way home, they text me again, asking if I was awake. In which I replied of course I bloody am. And, guess what? The only actual reason that they texted me was because they was bored of studying and decided that they would text me. At that very moment, sitting on the train, I started getting really pissed off.
It wasn’t the first time they had texted me when they was bored and had no one else to speak to. And on the rest of my way home, the more time past, the angrier I got. Right now, I think I was so angry I might have actually just started yelling into the quiet air. At nobody at all. But fortunately for the residents living nearby, I didn’t do that.
The only reason I started getting so angry was because I was starting thinking back about the times where they would text me while they were trying to kill time. And there were definitely many, many times. So many times that I’m starting to think that all of our conversation actually only happened when they had nothing else better to do. I mean, seriously, am I that unimportant?! Honestly. Because right now, I’m sitting here and I’m thinking, if I honestly am so un-fucking-important, then just bloody tell me.
I’m starting to think back at all the times that I actually bothered to stop and reply. To put in actual effort in putting my messy thoughts (that are usually knotted together) into actual understandable sentences. And this is the type of treatment and respond that I have in return – being cast aside when they have something better to do, only pressing my name on their phone when they’re bored and have nobody else to talk to.
I had actually realised this months ago. Actually, I realised this early last year. I didn’t do anything about it. Up until this very moment, I still don’t understand why I ain’t doing shit about this situation. I’m sick of being treated like some forgotten dog that’s hidden in the closet. I’m sick and tired of being casted aside and having no significance in people’s life. I just… feel like I deserve more respect, y’know?
Not to mention, when I text them, they don’t usually reply. I mean, seriously, I can be there to reply every single time you text but you can’t do that for me?
Coming back to what I was writing about, I really just want to stop, you know. Maybe I should just block their number so that their text would stop popping up. I’ve had enough of this bullcrap, alright.
Why should I even bother?
Have a great week ahead! Oh, and before I forget, to all my Malay friends out there, Selamat Hari Raya Haji!