I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, looking at the photos of my former classmates from both primary and secondary school when I realised something.
I am a person who let a lot of things drift. I should probably be more specific and just clarify that when I say “things”, I actually really mean friends.
I am a person who let a lot of friends drift.
I don’t know if it has anything to do with what I’m used to. Because… I’m the only child in a family where my parents are workaholics but what they’re really working hard on is to keep my life comfortable. (Yes, I am actually extremely grateful to the both of my parents.) As an only child, I grew up practically alone. Naturally, because of that, by now, I have gotten extremely used to being alone. *shrugs* I mean, yeah, I could even go café hopping on my own, how many people you know can actually do that?
Nah, I’m just kidding. But seriously though. I’m a very ‘go everywhere alone’ sort of person. I actually prefer going shopping on my own. Sometimes, I do prefer going to catch movies alone. And most of the time, I like going around school campus alone too. Even with many, many pairs of students’ eyes watching, possibly silently judging.
Now that I think about it, could my letting friends drift away be because of my “I don’t need you to accompany me to go somewhere” mindset?
Thinking back, since graduating from primary school, I have drifted away from a lot of friends. And I’m talking about friends whom I still have their contact number in my phone that I never actually do just look up for and text. Even if a conversation does strike up, the conversation would normally just last for, I don’t know, 10 minutes, tops?
A part of me starts to think if I’m actually doing anything wrong, if I’m not doing something right as a friend.
The other part of me, the more logical part, then classifies this whole ‘drifting friends’ debacle as a natural process that every human being would go through. It has to be it anyway. Everyone most definitely have experienced it before.
I’ve heard from a lot of my friends mentioning that they don’t even talk to any of their friends from primary school anymore. In which, it has only been 10 years ago since we started in primary school. There are also friends who have actively chosen to cut contact with friends from secondary school, which I just ended last year.
I suppose… Friends come and go. Most of them don’t really stay. They really only stay for a couple of chapters of our lives and then they’ll just gradually be hidden in some back room and unwritten in our lives. Eventually, they would be completely forgotten and we may not even remember such characters ever appeared in our lives. But there are also friends who would stay as recurring characters in our lives. Maybe even some that would eventually become main characters. These are the friends whom we keep contact with, friends whom we regularly meet up with. These are the friends who know us much more than the ones who were left behind.
That’s… just the way life goes. People just comes and goes.
Right now, I’m a little upset about the friends that I’ve let go. But… it’s all quite alright. Everything will work out in the end because the friends who stay and becoming recurring/main characters, they’re the ones who will make things alright. 🙂
Thank you, friends. Thank you.