Involvement.

Mycroft: I’ve warned you, don’t get involved.

Sherlock: Involved? I’m not involved…

This part of their ‘conversation’ honestly just keeps playing in my head these couple of days. I would say that I don’t understand why, but I’d be lying.

I’ve come to understand the depths behind the warning of not getting involved. Because…

To cut the long stories short, being involved is just painful.

Yes, getting involved in something will temporarily make you feel better, make you feel happier, make you feel like you’re a part of something bigger, part of someone else’s life. But there will come a day when you realise that… you’re nothing but a pawn. You’re nothing that a bridge that people are just using to get across. Your involvement has made no significant impact on someone else’s life at all.

And yet it changes you, in ways that you don’t even want to be changed. It made you look at things differently, it made you see through people’s actions, it made you observe instead of just see.

Involvement has always failed me. Rarely do I ever get something good in the long run from being involved. And most days I wonder, why do I even bother? 

Yes, in the most mature ways possible of seeing it, these ‘failed’ involvements are just experiences; part and parcel of what life is made to be. And yes, it is all true. These involvements are just some chapters or paragraphs to learn from, absolutely nothing to cry over at all.

But having felt the emotions, observed the actions, watched the difference… One cannot simply just put it down into acid and let it dissolve.

It’s not as simple as that.

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