I don’t know if it’s merely just my laziness acting up or I just really enjoy not doing anything in bed. It’s arguably the best thing I would like to do now. Just spend the entire day in bed doing absolutely nothing and staring at the ceiling. Or not.
I would probably get nagged at by my parents. And I would probably think that they don’t understand, that they will never understand. Or maybe they do, and they just refuse to because there’s 101 things out there for them to start on, for them to get through. And they push through the feelings of laziness and does them.
I still can barely understand why I’m always feeling so down. I still don’t remotely have a clue as to why I just don’t feel like doing anything even though exams/projects/etc are just round the corner; why I would rather just sit at the table and stare into space. I don’t understand how my motivation could’ve just walked out of the room, like I was given up on.
I give myself such high expectations, knowing that I can actually achieve them. And yet at the same time, I’m not acting as if I want to achieve them. There’s so much expectations from everyone, including myself, and yet I’ve wasted the entire day doing absolutely nothing.
I really need to get my shit together and start revising.
I also really feel like just drowning myself in the comfort of my bed and never get up.
I would say, “we can’t all have what we want”.
But we all know that it’s not true.