I’m just a nobody trying to be somebody, trying so hard to fit in, to be a part of them, to leave something behind.
I’ve been wondering about how much I’ve sacrificed in order to be somebody, how much I’ve changed to be somebody, how many people I might’ve hurt to be somebody.
Because I’m starting to wonder: what is all of this really for? All these achievements, where are they going to get me? Where can they get me if I continue being like a piece of shit that I don’t even enjoy being?
Because I have been reflecting. I keep thinking, if I were to meet myself, I would not only dislike myself. I would probably hate myself. I guess, much like I already do now.
Maybe the key to ending this sadness, frustration and anger is to manage it and stop expecting it to turn good out of nowhere. Maybe the key to ending it is to stop and breathe. Maybe the key to ending this is to breathe, to stop trying solely to achieve but focus on working on myself.