Lately, I’ve been feeling one constant emotion.
I’ve been feeling sad. I’ve been constantly asking myself, “why the hell are you so sad for?”
I sat in a crowd, looked at nothing in particular, staring into space and feeling an overwhelming feeling of sadness. The type that makes me want to cry.
All I want to do is cry but the tears won’t fall. It wouldn’t even form at the brim of my eyelids.
All I feel is sadness.
And there is no explanation, no reason for it.
Strangely enough, one constant thought keeps coming back: the words of my physics teacher in secondary school.
He told stories – stories about morals, motivating stories – to his classes. A few particular ones stuck with me. And at this strange point in my life where all I feel is sadness, I keep remembering this one motivational one he ever told.
“When all in the world feels like it’s going wrong, when every problem seems to be unsolvable, when every problem plagues your mind like a malicious virus that cannot be removed….
Go for a walk outside.
Go walk around the neighbourhood, surround yourself with nature, with the city.
Go remind yourself that the world is out there and it has so much to offer, go remind yourself that the world is so large.
And ultimately, remind yourself that you’re only one small little speck in the vast universe. Remind yourself that because you’re just one small speck of particles, your problems are even smaller.
And your problems should not dictate your life.”
I don’t know, for some reason, this one really stuck with me.
Maybe I need a walk out there. Maybe what I need is a reminder of how small I really am.
Although, maybe that’s exactly what I don’t need. Because it’s a thought that goes through my mind every single day.
I don’t know what to do with all this sadness, I don’t know how to get rid of all this sadness.